What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Sure no problem officer.

What is one thing nice you did for someone today or something they did for you?

{RING} {RING}

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Yes sir it is.

I see lots of pictures of women who have huge clits are they real or what?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

HELLO

If my lovely sister sleeps with my boyfriend, what should I do about her?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

After a few moments he returns.

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No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Why does Boko Haram attack its own Muslims?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.